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That Which You Secretly Want From Love, Centered On Your Enneagram Kind

As Valentine’s looms and stores begin to fill with overtones of red, white, and pink—it must be love on menchats the brain, as Rihanna sings day. And because love is available in all forms, sizes and colors, it’s wise that the nine Enneagram character types is likely to be taking a look at love (and their significant other people) in nine really various ways.

Exactly what pulls in your heartstrings, considering your Enneagram type? Continue reading to learn that which you secretly want from love.

Enneagram Type 1 in Love

What you would like: Excitement plus the possibility to discrete your internal kid.

The One’s life is prepared out—perfectly spick and span—like all plain things is. Love, having said that, should feel just like the best-planned spontaneity you’ve constantly wished for. Rather than incorporating another task to your to-do list (e.g. “Romantic things with my other” that are significant, Ones are actually interested in possibilities to ‘love within the minute’ with a partner whom allows you to find the beauty of work-life balance.

Exactly what usually the one secretly wishes from love:

Enneagram Type 2 in Love

What you would like: The reassurance of security combined with radical and in-your-face sincerity.

Assist!—hearing the phrase it self is sufficient to get the gears going and leaping in the next chance to support some body. But just what about whenever you go through it one other means around? As a Two, you have a tendency to love love it all in itself: the hugs, affection, gifts and neediness of. Yet, it may be fuzzy in regards to what you truly want in a relationship, as you’re laser centered on just how to please your significant other.

Exactly what the 2 secretly wishes from love:

Enneagram Type 3 in Love

What you need: Unconditional love and recognition away from work and achievements.

Growing up, you might have learned that “love” is rewarded through efforts, your achievements and recognition. Accolades. Medals. Social networking likes. Followers. The way that is only is more or, while the musical organization Daft Punk sings: harder, better, faster, stronger. Secretly however, what you’re yearning for is an unconditionally supportive partner whom embraces your weaknesses, and understands when you should enable you to blow some steam off.

Just what the 3 secretly wishes from love:

Enneagram Type 4 in Love

What you need: admiration for your specific talents additionally the additional push to enable you to get ahead.

Fours have a number of imaginative talents and abilities, but often lack the knowledge or execution that is practical see things through. Someone who can encourage one to run that extra lap on a dreary Sunday afternoon (or wake an hour up previous) will push you in direction of development. At the core, you crave psychological attentiveness and level. Additionally you desire both beauty and brains in somebody, way more than any other Enneagram kind.

Just what the Four secretly desires from love:

Enneagram Type 5 in Love

What you need: someone in your mind (and crime) who can explore both the practical and esoteric with you.

As a Five, your energy and time may be worth above all else in your lifetime (regardless of your bookshelf and journals, possibly). The love you secretly want brings an open brain and a youthful feeling of wonder towards the dining table. As a lost wanderer on a mission in an attempt to comprehend the world, you search low and high for a love which makes you’re feeling strong and in a position to bust out of one’s sturdy shell.

Exactly what the Five secretly desires from love:

Enneagram Type 6 in Love

What you need: Trustworthiness additionally the mild support to slowly tread outside your rut.

Life (and love) has a certain method to cause emotions of extreme delight and fear when you look at the Six—often during the exact same time. Your back-up and private bubble is comfortable, familiar and oh-so cozy. A missed call or ignored text may spring forth new concerns. The love you seek is uplifting and warm, yet grounded in fact and practical.

Exactly what the Six secretly wishes from love:

Enneagram Type 7 in Love

What you need: A steadfast (yet enjoyable!) rock to pull you straight back from possibly dangerous situations.

As self-sustained and confident you are whenever flying solamente, Seven, you have got a soft spot when it comes to picturesque Disney romance—complete with cheesy jokes and over-the-top music. You will be no complete stranger with regards to thrills and behavior that is ridiculously risqué. The type of love you really miss is a shelter; a safety belt to pull you straight back through the cliff advantage. Even though it appears mundane at the best, you profoundly want a slow burn rather than the fiery gas show.

Exactly what the Seven secretly desires from love:

Enneagram Type 8 in Love

What you need: somebody who can confidently stand you up and coach you on the intricacies of psychological cleverness.

Let’s face it Eight: you’re alpha and you also understand it. Although it might seem intuitive (and normal) to get a partner whom you may lead and boss around—ahem—give a few tips to, you secretly crave someone who’s brave enough to allow you realize when you should sit back. Empathy and vulnerability pose great challenges to your ego, down this rabbit hole gently and with confidence so you need someone who can lead you.

What the Eight secretly wants from love:

Enneagram Type 9 in Love

What you would like: self-esteem and patience that is unwavering let your assertiveness to unfold and develop.

Patience is regarded as your strong matches, so you crave it in someone to assist amplify the hushed internal vocals that is prepared to remain true for the philosophy. Through times during the doubt and conflict, you wish a reliable ear to concentrate and supply sound advice. However you additionally secretly desire a quietly thrilling love that withstands the test of the time. Yes, it is a bit contradictory, however these variances provide a love that is true for the all-embracing Nine.

Exactly what the Nine secretly desires from love:

At the moment of the year, we could all share a tad bit more love with this household, buddies, animals, and partners—and sparks can easily travel as Cupid’s arrow travels all over the lines of this Enneagram! We encourage one to utilize the Enneagram for the own private ‘love’ development. Do not know your type? Use the test!

Lily Yuan is a character therapy author whom tests as INTP and constantly questions her type. Find out more and reach away at Explore her web log at She additionally writes for

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