Ask Audrey: A lesbian child may be the must-have accessory that is latest in the Rochestown Road

Ask Audrey: A lesbian child may be the must-have accessory that is latest in the Rochestown Road

Sorting out Cork individuals for a long time like

C’mere, what’s the story with thinking Cork is preferable to intercourse. I’ve really reconnected using the town into the past weeks that are few walking on during the lockdown and breaking into tears each and every time Shandon sneaks into view, I’d a be poor because of it. It’s the company child, strolling across the streets that are empty alone along with your ideas and a will of Dutch silver, you’re able to realise what’s essential in your lifetime. Therefore like can we all agree with a very important factor whenever all this work is over – Cork town may be the fruits whenever you don’t need to share the footpath with gowls from Carrigaline. Therefore, can you ever ask one of the snobby attorney friends when there is solution to ban culchies from Cork, forever like? – Dowcha Donie, Blackpool.

I’m with you on your

Many people are saying the air is fresher around Cork since there are incredibly couple of vehicles on the street. We state it is since there is no one up from Bandon to complete their ‘bit of shopping. ’ #IsThatSilageOrManure?

Aon sceal? I’m a trainee Guard from Dingle, they provided me with early launch from Templemore and delivered me right down to Cork to be sure ye lads don’t drive down to Kerry on the weekend to get down with this wild birds. They truly are four of us when you look at the one household here in Frankfield, Christ we inform you we’d be bating from the Cork women with a dirty stick, they appear to think we’re noise as a result of our sly accents. Anyhow, i’ve an issue aided by the thing that is cocoon. The thing is that, Kerry women can be grand until they hit 60, after which they’d almost have significantly more hair that is facial Paul Galvin. Yeer Cork women have significantly more style I can’t tell if a woman is over 70 or not about them and? Any hints? – Paid Og Ban Beag, Frankfield agus Dingle.

The Posh Cousin has simply started a podcast targeted at older ladies who would like good sex life, it is called In Your goals. We stated, what’s the way that is best to inform in case a Cork girl has ended 70. She stated, ask if she continues to have some of those Roches that is red Stores at home. #TheyAllDo

Now hear this Paddy. Things are rather tight for English aristos that we can’t charge oiks 50 quid to circumambulate our stately domiciles and say ‘hey up, Clive, i’dn’t prefer to be the only picking right up the heating bill right here, chuck. Like myself right now, now’ Quite. Anyhow, fortune favours the rich and what not, didn’t your man Varadkar contact me through the week by what i really believe is recognized as a work. Their studies have shown which you filthy Micks have actually stopped listening to stay-at-home warnings from people who have Dublin 4 accents – evidently they’re perhaps perhaps perhaps not English sufficient. Huzzah! That’s where we appear in. Therefore, listen up, the message from Leo and their federal federal government is really as follows – there is no raising the lockdown since you have now been very bad Paddys. Can you pass that around Cork I own for me? – Lord Edmund D’Servant-Shagger, Wiltshire, to name one of the many counties.

My relative is just A fine gael councillor, we call him preparing Permission. We rang him here to fairly share the lockdown. He stated, how’s your mother? We said, I’m dying to offer me personally a hug. He stated, come on Audrey you don’t want her catching Covid-19. We stated, Jesus no, not with her household well worth 50% of what is was at January. He stated, exactly.

No shortage of friction on our WhatsApp team, Stunning Ballinlough Over-Achievers whom Are happy Now They Didn’t Have youngsters.

We snuck down for a stroll around Atlantic Pond with Leoni night that is last therefore we’re able to ask one another passive-aggressive questions regarding loss in revenue as a result of Covid-19. (‘Will you need to decide on the cheaper nose-job now’ – the typical bitchiness you have got together with your closest friend. ) Anyhow this Guard stopped us and asked if we were both from the exact same home – Leoni said we’re really a homosexual few, just like Naomi Clarke-O’Leary had been moving, and didn’t the nosey bitch tell everybody else. Now, I’ve absolutely absolutely nothing against lesbians – but we don’t want people thinking i will be one either, have you figured out that type or form of an easy method. So just how could I show I’m directly, without insulting the gays? –Carina, Ballinlough.

My cousin Orla is homosexual, her mom had been devastated until some body shared with her a lesbian daughter may be the must-have accessory that is latest in the Rochestown path. (It replaced a hairless pet. ) We stated, Orla, just what can you state to the Carina? She stated, absolutely absolutely nothing. We said why? She stated, I’d choose to shag a person than speak to someone from Ballinlough. #TheSnobbyLesbian

Fast one girl. I happened to be planning to keep my boyfriend however now a lockdown is had by him beard and I’m as horny that certain who sang I’m horny, horny, horny, horny. He’s like Chris Hemsworth with a Kanturk accent, I’d be rubbing I don’t even like him off him all day and! Can there be any remedy for Beard Lust? – Martina, Cloyne.

I became telling girls on Zoom yesterday evening that I happened to be mad for bearded dudes in university. One of these stated, did a rash is got by you? We stated, about four to five of those, but none on my face thank Jesus. #GreatTimes #TheresAlwaysPenicillin

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